he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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