What a fucking waste of an outfit
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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