how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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