like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize