I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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