I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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