U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
