I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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