She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
