I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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