Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
