ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
