Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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