can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize