she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
