alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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