awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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