Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
