She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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