next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
