I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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