i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
