you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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