Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
