She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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