She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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