haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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