Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
