seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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