thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
