Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
