this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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