I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize