she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
