but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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