one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
