I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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