Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize