If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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