I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
