I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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