You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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