the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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