8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
