Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
