.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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