chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize