He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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