When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
