if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
