I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
