so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
