Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
