I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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