You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
