so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
