we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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