I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
