Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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