SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
