Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
People in love make me want to vomit
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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