Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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