marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
